Welcome to the Sump

  1. Apply for the Sump Access at +1 (800) 532-SUMP
  2. Once (and if) you are accepted, recite a prayer to Perb1 or John Gleengus2.
  3. Travel to Tacoma, Washington and find CaY's phone in the snow.
  4. Mail the phone to the lagoon.
  5. A representative from the Sump will thank you and then we won't answer any of your further messages.
  6. You cannot come to the Sump.
  7. You cannot come to the Sump.
  8. You cannot come to the Sump.
  9. You cannot come to the Sump.
  10. You cannot come to the Sump.
  11. You cannot come to the Sump.
  12. You cannot come to the Sump.
  13. You cannot come to the Sump.
  14. You cannot come to the Sump.
  15. You cannot come to the Sump.
  16. You wish you could.
  17. You cannot come to the Sump.

So, you want to visit ?

Here's how you can!!

1Perb's prayer: "A well a everybody's heard about the bird / B-b-b bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word / A well a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word / A well a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word"
2John Gleengus' prayer: [REDACTED]



A once-in-a-lifetime gift...

~Come to the Sump!~

(Chance available until May 23rd)


Gleengus Records presents The Sump's First Annual Festival of Flabby on May 23, 2026, featuring headliners Ona Teyac and Muenster


Go back...